Surrendering Control

360d5eaf7fbe06c23d59d08c9682b949

“Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control. We can love and care for others but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family, or friends. We can assist them, pray for them, and wish them well, yet in the end their happiness and suffering depend on their thoughts and actions, not on our wishes.”

-Jack Kornfield

Advertisements

88b1a77af10f54bfc26bf2aca8581b7b

“See if you can catch the voice in your head, perhaps in the very moment it complains about something, and recognize it for what it is: the voice of the ego, no more than a thought. Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of it. In fact, you are the awareness that is aware of the voice. In the background, there is the awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind.”

-Eckhart Tolle


“Oh, sweetheart. Life is overwhelming for you at times, l know. Don’t listen to the ones who call you over-sensitive or too weak for this world. Your sensitivity is exquisitely beautiful!
But you must learn to stay close to yourself. You must learn to breathe. To invite curious attention deep into your body.

Allow yourself to feel overwhelmed, and you won’t be overwhelmed, I promise. It’s just a feeling. A precious part of you longing for love. It will pass when it’s ready. Let it stay awhile. Don’t pretend to be strong, the one who has it all ‘figured out’.

There will be time for answers soon enough. Now, simply give ‘the overwhelmed one’ safe passage in your heart. Drench the feeling of overwhelm with gentle attention; bathe it in overwhelming love.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes, it really is. Even the strongest feel overwhelmed, for their strength lies in their vulnerability. Your sensitive nervous system is perfect, and l love you for it. And it’s all okay, here. It’s really okay, here in the arms of the present moment.”

 ~Jeff Foster

The Mind- Mooji

IMG_2145

 

“Don’t pay too much attention to the mind. It may be throbbing with identity but this is observed as a phenomenon arising inside the great awareness. Now it may say, ‘I cannot do this or that thing’ or ‘This is not for me’, but these are mere thoughts appearing in the great vastness. Know this vastness to be your own unchanging Self.” ~ Mooji 

3391d7258c3f37c62e02694fa7e210e6

“For somebody who is spiritually awakening, ideally, you’ll be looking for a therapist who is treating personality as relatively real, not absolutely real.

Here in the West, we treat personality as absolutely real, we really think it’s real. Who you think you are is really real. For example, you were battered as a child and that seems very real, because it’s a strong mental structure in your head and it permeates you and you are carrying your history with you on your shoulders.

At some point you will start to see that each person is presenting who they think they are. It’s like they’re putting on a huge mind net, “This is who I am, this is who I am, this is who I am…” You can start to see it in the way they walk, talk, dress, present themselves; always presenting who they think they are, which has a historical thread running through it.

When you have started to awaken and see that there are other planes of reality that are equally valid to the one at which presently exists, you learn how to live more or less with more and more planes simultaneously, which is what freedom is about. It’s not totally standing in one plane, it’s not standing anywhere at all.

Then what you would love is a therapist who has that same perspective, who has that multi-plane perspective all the time. So when I’m working with somebody psychologically and they bring their stuff to me, I hear their stuff. Their, “I was battered as a child. I was abused.” I hear all of that, I hear that they are talking about a plane of reality. I want to talk with them within that plane and empathize and deal with them. However, at the same moment, I want my consciousness to stay spacious enough as an environment that if they were ready to let that one go and recognize that there’s another plane of experience in which they also live, that I’d be right there for them.

Now most therapists, because they think they’re real as a therapist, think their patient is also real. If a patient says, “I’ve had this experience in which you and I are souls,” or “This is all an illusion.” They’ll most likely say, “Well, that’s a defense mechanism.” They say this because they themselves can’t really handle these other planes of reality.

You can’t expect all therapist to be the Buddha, you won’t get on with your therapy. So what you do is you use therapists in the same way you go to somebody to get your car fixed. You don’t go in and expect them to give you the greatest wisdom of the universe but you expect them to help you clean up. You have to be able to use a therapist appropriately. A therapist is a technician, who’s there to serve you about this plane of reality, and it’s not reasonable to expect them to understand all wisdom and be free.”

 

-Ram Dass

Mental Clarity- Lao Tzu

3df54b9b6bea75e63accf8c58a1ff6ee (1)

“Eliminate mental muddiness and obscurity; keep your mind crystal clear. Allow your pure original insight to emerge. Quiet your emotions and abide in serenity. Don’t go crazy with the worship of idols, images, and ideas; this is like putting a new head on top of the head you already have. Remember: if you can cease all restless activity, your integral nature will appear.”

~ Lao Tzu

            image from art42.tumblr.com

 

Lightly My Darling 

“It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days…Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me…To throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling.”

~Aldous Huxley

Health-a Buddhist Perspective by Chogyam Trungpa 

3120fb3d144294430cb4ce90b4087d97
“Our basic work is to become full human beings and to inspire full human-beingness in others who feel starved about their lives. When we say a full human being, we mean a person who not only eats, sleeps, walks, and talks but someone who also experiences a basic state of wakefulness. It might seem to be very demanding to define health in terms of wakefulness but wakefulness is actually very close to us. We can experience it. We are touching it all the time. Although the usual dictionary definition of health is, roughly speaking, free from sickness, we should look at health as something more than that.

According to the Buddhist tradition, people inherently possess buddha nature, that is they are basically and intrinsically good. From this point of view, health is intrinsic. Health comes first, sickness is secondary. Health is. So being healthy is being fundamentally wholesome, with body and mind synchronized in a state of being which is indestructible and good. A great deal of chaos in the world occurs because people don’t appreciate themselves. When you don’t punish or condemn yourself, when you relax more and appreciate your body and mind, you begin to contact the fundamental notion of basic goodness in yourself.”

-Chogyam Trungpa (painting by Beth Nicholas)

A Heavy Curriculum: Ram Dass

fc97602e980e0369a19920d83b5a6ded

‘If somebody is a problem for you, it’s not that they should change, it’s that you need to change. If they’re a problem for themselves that’s their karma, if they’re causing you trouble that’s your problem on yourself. So, in other words when Christ is crucified, he says “forgive them, they don’t know what they’re doing”, they’re not a problem for him, he’s trying to get them out of being a problem for themselves, because he’s clear. Your job is to clear yourself. In ideal situations you would clear yourself within the situation, but very often it’s too thick and you can’t do that.

Now, what you do then is you pull back and you do the stuff you do in the morning or at night before you go to work, you do the stuff on weekends, you do the stuff that quiets you down and then each time you go into the situation to where you have to work, you lose it again. And then you go home and you see how you lost it, and you examine it, and then you go the next day and you lose it again, and you go home and you keep a little diary “how did I lose it today”, and you saw that, and then you go and you do it again, and after a while as you’re starting to lose it you don’t buy in so much. You start to watch the mechanics of what it is that makes you lose it all the time.

If I’m not appreciated, that’s your problem that you don’t appreciate me. Unless I need your love, then it’s my problem. So my needs are what are giving you the power over me. Those people’s power over you to take you out of your equanimity and love and consciousness has to do with your own attachments and clingings of mind. That’s your work on yourself, that’s where you need to meditate more, it’s where you need to reflect more, it’s where you need a deeper philosophical framework, it’s where you need to cultivate the witness more, it’s where you need to work on practicing opening your heart more in circumstances that aren’t optimumThis is your work. You were given a heavy curriculum, that’s it. There’s no blame, it’s not even wrong, it’s just what you’re given. You hear what I’m saying? It’s interesting. Can you all hear that one?’

-Ram Dass, Summer 1989

Pema Chödron: The Places That Scare You

 
Picture by Patrick Webber

“Rather than going after our walls and barriers with a sledgehammer, we pay attention to them. With gentleness and honesty, we move closer to those walls. We touch them and smell them and get to know them well. We begin a process of acknowledging our aversions and our cravings. We become familiar with the strategies and beliefs we use to build the walls: What are the stories I tell myself? What repels me and what attracts me? We start to get curious about what’s going on.”

Pema Chödron

The Places That Scare You • Book