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“Just as life is made up of day and night, and song is made up of music and silence, friendships, because they are of this world, are also made up of times of being in touch and spaces in-between. Being human, we sometimes fill these spaces with worry, or we imagine the silence is some form of punishment, or we internalize the time we are not in touch with a loved one as some unexpressed change of heart. Our minds work very hard to make something out of nothing. We can perceive silence as rejection in an instant, and then build a cold castle on that tiny imagined brick. The only release from the tensions we weave around nothing is to remain a creature of the heart. By giving voice to the river of feelings as they flow through and through, we can stay clear and open. In daily terms, we call this checking in with each other, though most of us reduce this to a grocery list: How are you today? Do you need any milk? Eggs? Juice? Toilet paper? Though we can help each other survive with such outer kindnesses, we help each other thrive when the checking in with each other comes from a list of inner kindnesses: How are you today? Do you need any affirmation? Clarity? Support? Understanding? When we ask these deeper questions directly, we wipe the mind clean of its misperceptions. Just as we must dust our belongings from time to time, we must wipe away what covers us when we are apart.”

Held, Not Healed

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HELD, NOT HEALED

Stop trying to heal yourself, fix yourself,
even awaken yourself.
Stop trying to Fast-Forward the movie of your life.
Let go of ‘letting go’.
Healing is not a destination.
Be here.

Your pain, your sorrow, your doubts, your longings,
your fearful thoughts: they are not mistakes,
and they are not asking to be ‘healed’.
They are asking to be held. Here, now, lightly,
in the loving, healing arms of present awareness…

– Jeff Foster

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“You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.”

~ Iyanla Vanzant

Image from www.ashleymariephotography.co

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“We can’t find our path without getting messy. Messy comes with the territory. We came in messy. We learn messy. We love messy. We leave messy. I never found my way to clarity without first befriending confusion, in all its chaotic forms. I never found a path that felt like home before falling into quicksand. I never established a new way of being without trying the wrong way of being on for size. I never found the light without stumbling around in the dark. I never tasted God before getting a little dirt in my mouth. In the heart of the chaos is the clay that shapes us home. Chaotic Magnificence!” -Jeff Brown


“Oh, sweetheart. Life is overwhelming for you at times, l know. Don’t listen to the ones who call you over-sensitive or too weak for this world. Your sensitivity is exquisitely beautiful!
But you must learn to stay close to yourself. You must learn to breathe. To invite curious attention deep into your body.

Allow yourself to feel overwhelmed, and you won’t be overwhelmed, I promise. It’s just a feeling. A precious part of you longing for love. It will pass when it’s ready. Let it stay awhile. Don’t pretend to be strong, the one who has it all ‘figured out’.

There will be time for answers soon enough. Now, simply give ‘the overwhelmed one’ safe passage in your heart. Drench the feeling of overwhelm with gentle attention; bathe it in overwhelming love.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes, it really is. Even the strongest feel overwhelmed, for their strength lies in their vulnerability. Your sensitive nervous system is perfect, and l love you for it. And it’s all okay, here. It’s really okay, here in the arms of the present moment.”

 ~Jeff Foster

Selfcare-Anita Moorjani

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“The amount of love, kindness, patience I have for others is directly proportional to how much love I have for myself, because we cannot give others what we ourselves do not have. And, unsurprisingly, the amount of love, respect, support, and compassion I receive from others is also in direct proportion to how much I love myself.” -Anita Moorjani

 

 

The Importance of Love

image1 (1)“Love is something you and I must have. We must have it because our spirit feeds upon it, we must have it because, without it we become weak and faint. Without love our self-esteem weakens. Without it our courage fails. Without love, we can no longer look out confidently at the world. With love, we are creative. With love, we march tirelessly. With love, and with love alone, we are able to sacrifice for others.” –

Chief Dan George, Geswanouth Slahoot, Tse-lai-Watt Nation (1899-1981)

As I Began To Love Myself by Charlie Chaplin (maybe?)

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Pic from www.artpeoplegallery.com

I’ve read quite a few online blogs that discuss the true source of this beautiful text. I can’t tell you whether it was Charlie Chaplin or Kim McMillen. But I will say that it’s a touching piece and every word rings true to me. Hope you enjoy it too.

“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!

The Courage to Heal by Jeff Foster

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Healing does not always look or feel good, pretty or kind. True healing nearly always involves the re-opening of old wounds, the death of illusion, and a courageous confrontation with our pain.

One of the most dangerous myths we have inherited is that healing is supposed to ‘feel good’. No, not always. Sometimes our discomfort actually intensifies as the darkness emerges into the light, as unconscious material makes its way into awareness, as our old illusions burn up. Pain is not wrong, a mistake, or a sign that we are doomed. Pain may actually indicate that our healing process is intensifying, not stalling; that we are actually more awake and sensitive than ever, more deeply connected with the here and now, less willing to turn away.

There is such a tendency in our culture to avoid discomfort of any kind, distract ourselves from it, label it as ‘wrong’ or ‘negative’ or even ‘unspiritual’, meditate or medicate it away. Much of our Western medicine is geared towards the removal of symptoms, the silencing of disruption, the numbing of chaos and the journey towards some socially acceptable ‘normality’.

What is ‘normal’?

But sometimes, friends, we no longer have any interest in ‘returning to normal’! The ‘normal’ was the problem, not the solution! The status quo needed to shift. It was unstable and false. Old dreams were keeping us trapped.

Sometimes our ‘normality’ needs to break open into chaos and crisis, our pain and sorrow, frustration, exhaustion and doubts needs to be felt more fully than ever before, the heart needs to break open more completely. Our pain is not a punishment from a judgmental god, nor a mistake in a broken universe, nor evidence of our failure and unenlightened ignorance, but a profoundly alive spiritual teaching.

Witness Jesus on the cross. The device of his torture became his ultimate invitation to healing – the rediscovery of his own unbreakable Presence prior to his human incarnation, prior to time itself.

Consider the possibility that within your suffering you are being given an invitation: to let go, to wake up from the dream of normality, to embrace life in all its brokenness and wonder. To fall in love with where you are. To come out of the story of past and future, and turn towards the present moment, the place where you stand.

Let the winds blow, let the tempests rage, let all that is false be purified, let all that is dead remain dead, let life explode where you are. You are only being invited to a deeper healing, even though it feels like pain, even though the heart is tender and raw, even though you cannot yet feel your tomorrows.

– Jeff Foster

Source: https://www.ekhartyoga.com/blog/the-courage-to-heal