“The day that the child realizes all adults are imperfect, she becomes an adolescent; the day she forgives them, she becomes an adult; the day she forgives herself , she becomes wise.” -Alden Nowlan
‘A body is a field of moving energy and a system of information, as life continues its fluctuations, we tend to gather attachments, burdens, and sorrows. We hold them so tightly that they become embedded in the body, causing changes and disruptions in the flow of our system while also limiting the access to the best possible version of ourselves – this sometimes manifests itself as ailments or disease as well as a lack of belief in our own power and a lack of understanding of the universe.
When someone enters a purification process such as meditation, the practice of yoga asanas or clean healthy eating among many other things, the body begins releasing these knots of attachment, freeing up the blockages in our system of information, allowing our field of energy to return to balance and move more freely and powerfully. This causes changes in our body, not just physical changes such as the healing of disease or ailments, but immaterial and internal ones as well, such as believing in oneself more, the growth of love, and the aspiration to grow into more wisdom. Really, there is no separation between the internal and the physical, they move together as one under the leadership of our mental contents.
Sending love to all beings. May we all reclaim our power and purify the burdens that cause us limitations. May we all grow into unconditional love.’
IN TIMES OF DARKNESS, TURN YOUR LIGHT WAY UP! -Jeff Foster
When someone calls you names, reduces you to a thing,
When they offer advice you didn’t ask for,
When they blame you for their pain,
When they do not listen to you, and endlessly talk about themselves,
When they compare you with others,
When they ignore, invalidate, judge or ridicule your thoughts and feelings.
Know it’s their pain, not yours.
Know they are dreaming the only dream they can dream until they wake up.
Know that they don’t know you, only their fantasy.
Perhaps they find it hard to love themselves.
Perhaps they seek their worth externally.
Perhaps they are disconnected from their breath, their bodies, their precious aliveness, their true calling.
Perhaps they live in a dualistic world of good and bad, right and wrong, success and failure.
Perhaps they have forgotten the simple joy of being.
Perhaps you understand this.
Perhaps you have been where they have been.
Don’t try to change them now. They may never change.
Don’t try to fix them. They aren’t asking to be fixed.
The more you push, they more they’ll push back.
Don’t get entangled in their web of sorrows.
See clearly, even have compassion, but don’t push.
It’s okay that they are upset. It really is.
Give them space to be upset.
It’s okay that they are disappointed in you.
Give them space to be disappointed.
It’s okay that they judge you. Make room for their judgements too.
Make room for your own thoughts and feelings!
Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, guilty, doubtful.
Let all these precious energies wash through you.
They will not harm you, as you allow them to move.
Yes, you will meet many gatekeepers on this journey.
Walk your path anyway, and allow others to walk theirs.
You don’t need to justify your path, or defend it.
Stay close to yourself in these challenging times.
Do not fight the darkness; it has no power anyway.
Simply turn your light way up.
‘Excessive analysis perpetuates emotional paralysis. You cannot heal and resolve your emotional material with your mind. Your emotional material does not evaporate because you watch it. You can only heal your heart with your heart. The mind is the great divider- the heart is the great connector. When it opens, healing happens…’ -Jeff Brown
“It’s easy to understand why you might seek a heart-to-heart dialogue with a parent who disappointed you. You long to make sense of, to heal from, to resolve. You intuitively know that they have information that can put what you experienced in context.
At the same time, you have to be careful not to expect something that they cannot provide. For many of those who came before, it is absolutely essential that they stay away from the hotbed of emotional material that you seek to excavate. It’s too loaded, too guilt-ridden, too overwhelming, and they intuitively know they will not survive the process. They know that the dialogue will force them to awaken a whole web of unresolved emotional issues they are not able to confront. There is little worse than ending up between two worlds- one unconscious and repressed, the other conscious and awakened. Sometimes its necessary to remain asleep, because awakening is just too darn difficult.
The important thing- when you seek dialogue with those who have hurt you- is that you understand in advance that any refusal to participate is not a reflection of your inherent value. It’s a reflection of their inherent limitations. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. It doesn’t mean that they don’t privately wish that they could have done better. It often just means that they have chosen, or must choose, to never look back…
‘One of the great challenges for those who have survived abusive and neglectful parents is that there is often a part of us that is still waiting for them to love us, even if there is very little chance of that happening. Locked in an archaic mindset, we continue to go back for more, looking for love in all the wrong places. Somehow we imagine that they will come around one day, realize their mistakes, see our worth, soften those armored edges. And some do, often when they are very old, made vulnerable by sickness and time. But many don’t, and we need to stop putting our emotional lives on hold waiting for something that may never happen. The bridge from stagnation to empowerment lies in our willingness to see them for who they really are, to take them off their primal pedestal and recognize their human limitations. This is not easy- the hungry child self clings to illusions- but it is oh so necessary. Until we accept the reality of who can’t love us, we cannot embrace the love of those who can.’-Jeff Brown
“How many times do we pay for one mistake? The answer is thousands of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make. But not us. We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and we punish ourselves. If justice exists, then that was enough; we don’t need to do it again. But every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again. If we have a wife or a husband he or she also reminds us of the mistake, so we can judge ourselves again, punish ourselves again, and find ourselves guilty again. Is this fair?
How many times do we make our spouse, our children, or our parents pay for the same mistake? Every time we remember the mistake, we blame them again and send them all the emotional poison we feel at the injustice, and then we make them pay again for the same mistake. Is that justice?” —Don Miguel Ruiz
“I eventually came to understand that in harboring the anger, the bitterness and resentment towards those that had hurt me, I was giving the reins of control over to them. Forgiving was not about accepting their words and deeds. Forgiving was about letting go and moving on with my life. In doing so, I had finally set myself free. ” Isabel Lopez
Image from the blog The Absolute Best Photography Posts on Bloglovin’
“Forgiveness is one of the primary mantras preached by the ungrounded spirituality movement. This is not to say that forgiveness is a bad thing, but it is not the first place to go after an abusive relationship or traumatic experience. Healing is. Putting our focus on forgiving a wrongdoer before we have actually worked through our anger and our pain is another way the new cage movement sidesteps their own unresolved shadow and the principles of accountability. I knew someone who had been stabbed by a lunatic and while they were bleeding, they were doing a forgiveness mantra for the stabber. Good thing someone else called an ambulance, or they would have died. When it comes down to it, healing and forgiving ourselves is the important step. If forgiveness of other arises organically, so be it. If it doesn’t, it’s not important. We are not responsible for those who wound us. They can take that up with God.”-Jeff Brown