“It’s easy to understand why you might seek a heart-to-heart dialogue with a parent who disappointed you. You long to make sense of, to heal from, to resolve. You intuitively know that they have information that can put what you experienced in context. 
At the same time, you have to be careful not to expect something that they cannot provide. For many of those who came before, it is absolutely essential that they stay away from the hotbed of emotional material that you seek to excavate. It’s too loaded, too guilt-ridden, too overwhelming, and they intuitively know they will not survive the process. They know that the dialogue will force them to awaken a whole web of unresolved emotional issues they are not able to confront. There is little worse than ending up between two worlds- one unconscious and repressed, the other conscious and awakened. Sometimes its necessary to remain asleep, because awakening is just too darn difficult. 

The important thing- when you seek dialogue with those who have hurt you- is that you understand in advance that any refusal to participate is not a reflection of your inherent value. It’s a reflection of their inherent limitations. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. It doesn’t mean that they don’t privately wish that they could have done better. It often just means that they have chosen, or must choose, to never look back…
-Jeff Brown 

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Fear

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“You consistently hear messages about putting fear aside and being fearless. To keep yourself in a place where you avoid feeling fear is to resist the very nature of being human – growing, learning, feeling and ultimately creating.

To be human requires you to feel fear. When you keep trying to make it go away and you are still alive, you can experience tension.

The goal is to be in a long term, committed relationship with fear. Only by accepting that fear will always be there for you can you become curious about what it has to teach you. When you get to know fear from curiosity, you can transform the angst and tension into patience. This relationship can be one of the most fruitful ones you have.” -Samira Far