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“ITS ALL YOUR PROJECTION!” Erm.
No. It’s not always your projection.

Sometimes the other person
really IS angry, or sad, or scared,
or judging you.
Or lying.

Or fleeing themselves
by shaming you.

Sometimes you really CAN trust
your feeling, your gut intuition,
your instinct.

Sometimes it’s not a question of working on yourself more, clearing up your projections, but of simply standing in your truth, knowing yourself more deeply, validating your own vulnerable human experience.

And yes.
Sometimes you’re totally projecting.
Sometimes you aren’t seeing clearly at all.

Sometimes it really is YOUR anger,
sadness, fear.
It’s your own incorrect thinking.
It’s your own unmet material
thrown onto the ‘other’
(really yourself). You must look for the truth
in each and every moment.
There’s no formula. No map.

Truth is alive!

So stay mindful, present, aware.
Don’t settle for easy answers.
Be willing to LOOK.
With humble, open eyes.

– Jeff Foster

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IN TIMES OF DARKNESS, TURN YOUR LIGHT WAY UP! -Jeff Foster

When someone calls you names, reduces you to a thing,
When they offer advice you didn’t ask for,
When they blame you for their pain,
When they do not listen to you, and endlessly talk about themselves,
When they compare you with others,
When they ignore, invalidate, judge or ridicule your thoughts and feelings.

Stop. Breathe.

Know it’s their pain, not yours.
Know they are dreaming the only dream they can dream until they wake up.
Know that they don’t know you, only their fantasy.

Perhaps they find it hard to love themselves.
Perhaps they seek their worth externally.
Perhaps they are disconnected from their breath, their bodies, their precious aliveness, their true calling.
Perhaps they live in a dualistic world of good and bad, right and wrong, success and failure.
Perhaps they have forgotten the simple joy of being.

Perhaps you understand this.
Perhaps you have been where they have been.

Don’t try to change them now. They may never change.
Don’t try to fix them. They aren’t asking to be fixed.
The more you push, they more they’ll push back.
Don’t get entangled in their web of sorrows.
See clearly, even have compassion, but don’t push.

It’s okay that they are upset. It really is.
Give them space to be upset.
It’s okay that they are disappointed in you.
Give them space to be disappointed.
It’s okay that they judge you. Make room for their judgements too.

Make room for your own thoughts and feelings!
Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, guilty, doubtful.
Let all these precious energies wash through you.
They will not harm you, as you allow them to move.

Yes, you will meet many gatekeepers on this journey.

Walk your path anyway, and allow others to walk theirs.
You don’t need to justify your path, or defend it.
Stay close to yourself in these challenging times.

Do not fight the darkness; it has no power anyway.

Simply turn your light way up.

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Having Loved Enough
-Mark Nepo

Having loved enough and lost enough,
I’m no longer searching
just opening,

no longer trying to make sense of pain
but trying to be a soft and sturdy home
in which real things can land.

These are the irritations
that rub into a pearl.

So we can talk for a while
but then we must listen,
the way rocks listen to the sea.

And we can churn at all that goes wrong
but then we must lay all distractions
down and water every living seed.

And yes, on nights like tonight
I too feel alone. But seldom do I
face it squarely enough
to see that it’s a door
into the endless breath
that has no breather,
into the surf that human
shells call God.

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‘Let the love that dwells inside
be released in a new way.
Let it out and let it flow in each direction
of your innermost terrain.
Let it sweep and fill old pains
and empty cases—
let it spill into the storage pile
of agonizing places.
Like that moment when you
should have left, but stayed;
or the times you felt like forfeiting,
but remained.
Let it run through the corridors
of your life story,
then up its stairs in search
for wistful memories.
Let it expose where all your precious grace
and healing treasures lay.
Let the love you keep inside
come out to be with you—
today.’

-Susan Frybort

Susan Frybort is the author of two books: ‘Hope is a Traveler’ and ‘Open Passages’.

The Last Petal Falls Away

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‘As you rise in your transformation, you might feel yourself being pulled back to your former placement. Remember, you don’t have to remain trapped in what it is others may think of you, have thought of you, or even stay lodged in the previous notions of your ideal self. You can step out and away from the decay of old beliefs which no longer hold any true meaning. Be encouraged… there is more for you, even after the last petal falls away. Enclosed and nestled within the tiniest seed waits the resplendence of what is to come.  You will grow to unfold to your fullest in due season— like a blossoming rose who knows no other way.’ -Susan Frybort 

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“Make a commitment to love and trust yourself above all others. You will never be sorry for this, ever. Even when it seems like your choice might hurt another. Every one of the choices I made in my life in order to avoid hurting someone has ended up hurting them (and me) more in the long run. You can’t know what is best for someone else, only for you. Choose you.” ~Amaya Pryce 

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“You have to temper the iron. Every hardship is an opportunity that you are given, an opportunity to grow. To grow is the sole purpose of existence on this planet Earth. You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden, but you will grow if you are sick, if you are in pain, if you experience losses, and if you do not put your head in the sand, but take the pain as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose.”-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (Death is of Vital Importance, 1995)

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“And so I no longer hide. I finally made the decision. And soon after, it was clear to see that 90% of the stress I’d carried through out the years was because I hid myself, pretended, smiled when I didn’t want to, silenced myself when my song was emerging from my very skin. I denied myself and so my world inside was a crumbling mess. I stopped hiding and was blown away by how easy it was to live. Living became natural again. And being me was no longer a problem. They don’t teach this stuff in schools but they should. They really, really should. Real living is about unhiding. That’s when everything starts to make sense. ” S.C Lourie