Allowing Ourselves to Experience Our own Beauty




Happy 38th Birthday to me and all of my parts, the good and the less desirable. They’re all beautiful really. I simply need a little reminder sometimes. Thank you Ram Dass for that reminder.

‘When I start thinking, “I’m Ram Dass, and I’ve worked on myself, and I’m supposed to be equanimous, loving, present, clear, compassionate, accepting,” oftentimes I get tired, I get angry and petulant, and I close down. For a long time I’d get into those states and I would feel really embarrassed, because that isn’t who Ram Dass is supposed to be. So I would appear like I was warm, charming, equanimous, compassionate, and there was deviousness and deception involved. Then I realized that’s bad business, because that cuts us off from one another… and I had to risk my truth. I had to risk being human with other people, and realize that what we offer each other is our truth, and our truth includes all of our stuff.

The first thing I had to do was accept my own truth. I had to allow myself to be a human being.

Now, what I found was that as I started to allow myself to be more human, just allowed what I am, things changed much faster in me. I mean, things fell away more quickly. It was as if I was locked into a model which was based on that negativity, that dislike of myself; and once I just allowed myself to be human, with all the foibles, things started to flow, and I could feel change occurring in myself.

Then, I started to experience my own beauty and it frightened me, because it was so dissonant and discrepant from the model that I had cultivated of myself over the years. Dissonance between the idea that I had to do good in order to be beautiful and that idea that I just am… and that what is, is in its own way beautiful.

You look at decay, and it is beautiful. Laura Huxley, who is a very dear friend, in her kitchen has these jars over the sink, and she takes old beet greens and orange peels and things, and sticks them in water on these long, beautiful pharmaceutical jars. Then they slowly start to mold and decay, and there are these beautiful decaying formation of mold. It’s really garbage… it’s garbage as art. We look at it and it’s absolutely beautiful. There’s absolute beauty in that.

I’ve begun to expand my awareness to be able to look at the universe as it is, and see what is called the horrible beauty of it. I mean, there’s horror and beauty in all of it, because there is also decay and death in all of it. I mean, we’re all decaying – I look at my hand and it’s decaying. It’s beautiful and horrible at the same time; and I just live with that. And also with it, I see and live with the beauty of it.

So we’re talking about appreciating what is. Not loving yourself, as opposed to not liking yourself, but allowing yourself. As you allow, it changes. I think that gets behind the polarities. I think that’s what’s important.’

– Ram Dass

Taken from



13 thoughts on “Allowing Ourselves to Experience Our own Beauty

  1. Ok and seriously, I don’t think I can keep calling you Mrs Zen if you are only 38. Not that I feel 44 most days, but it just feels weird. But, that’s your blog name. And you should go by it.
    I read you about page, but still… tell me..hahaaa..enjoy your birthday…and your thirties! I did 🙂

    • Bridey it is! How is that hard to pronounce? Now I’m intrigued. Is it not pronounced how it’s spelled?
      Also, I did not get this notification.
      That happens often with your blog.
      I think WP likes to have a little fun with us.
      But..let’s face it..we’re fun ppl. 🙂

      • Hmm WP woes continue. Yep, Bridey is pronounced phonetically, very easy IMO. But with my Aussie accent, when I introduce myself I usually get a confused face and ppl respond “Brady?” To which I reply, “Bridey, like Heidi.” The struggle is real CC. 😆 That’s why we named our daughter Eva. No issues there.

      • Oh how funny. If you knew my real name, we could totally have a great laugh together.
        I answer to anything remotely close, lol.
        I understand the struggle. Love your name. 🙂

  2. Happy birthday. I have 20 years on you (am now 58), and whether it happens in our thirties or our forty or fifties there comes a time when we realize we are aging. And part of the process is coming to grips with it, being true to yourself and loving yourself as you are.

    This is what I see in this post. I commend you for it.

    • Thank you for your kind remarks. 💓😊Aging really need not be feared, it’s a privilege not given to everyone. Your comment about loving yourself is really resonating with me. It’s something I’m working on and it’s actually pretty life changing. Thank you for stopping by and reading my post. Namaste! 🌷🌷🌷

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