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“We talk about how many women were raped last year, not about how many men raped women. We talk about how many girls in a school district were harassed last year, not about how many boys harassed girls. We talk about how many teenager girls in the state of Vermont got pregnant last year, rather than how many men and boys impregnated teenage girls.

So you can see how the use of the passive voice has a political effect. It shifts the focus off of men and boys and onto girls and women. Even the term ‘violence against women’  is problematic. It’s a passive construction; there’s no active agent in the sentence. It’s a bad thing that happens to women, but when you look at that term ’violence against women,’ nobody is doing it to them. It just happens to them. Men aren’t even a part of it.”

-Jackson Katz

I’ll admit that I’d never heard of Jackson Katz until I researched him after reading the above quote last night. A quote that to me is so incredibly profound. It highlights the need for more careful language that shifts the blame to the actual perpetrator, not the victim as regularly occurs.

What an incredible bio he has. Katz, a former football star, a TED Talk speaker, and I now know, is one of the most prominent voices in the pro-feminist men’s movement. His agenda is to educate men, particularly in college age campus settings, on what they can do to end sexual voilence.  Katz is also the co-founder of MVP Strategies (Mentors in Violence Prevention), one of the longest-running intervention training programs in the U.S. He has also created training materials for universities and school districts, NFL teams, several Major League Baseball teams, and even the U.S. Navy.

We all know that sexual voilence and harrassment isn’t a Hollywood issue. It is a societial issue that affects females from all walks of life, regardless of age, income and workplace. Perhaps the most promising thing that could come out of the Weinstein coverage is for more men to understand that harassment from males, of all ages and positions, happens to females of all ages and positions. Perhaps this nature of giving men like Weinstein a free pass will end.  It’s time to stop blaming the victims and start taking the issue seriously.

 

 

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Self Talk

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Note to self and to you-

This too shall pass darling. Sometimes it gets so dark, it feels like it will never end. And yet it does end. Light starts to trickle in and you find hope again. You are loved, never forgotten, even though it feels like you have been at times. Keep being brave, keep sharing your soul with others. Pain is universal, suffering is optional.

Enough already. FFS!

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‘Sexual assault against women is an epidemic of epic proportions. More than half of the women I have known well, have been assaulted in one form or another. If any other form of dysfunction impacted that many people, we would declare a state of emergency. It is perhaps the most socially acceptable epidemic on this planet. And it has to stop.

Women can no longer live with these secrets, nor can they walk this earth fearful of where they step. But they cannot do it alone. Awakening men must join them. We must stand firmly beside them, and stand down those unconscious men who frighten and assault our sisters. We must make a conscious choice not to shame women, but to shame those men who belittle and abuse them.

This is the next step, one that holds the key to world transformation. Because if half the planet is denied basic protections, the entire planet is lost. May recent events be a true, never-to-be-forgotten call to action for awakening men everywhere. Courageously confront and transform the aggressor that lives within you. Give him no place to hide. It is not shameful to acknowledge your violent conditioning. It is shameful to act upon it. Make another choice. Stand beside your sisters. Stand down your unconscious brothers. Make love your lasting legacy.’

-Jeff Brown

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‘Everyone goes through hell, but not everyone stays there. Stop tormenting yourself by reliving the pain over and over.

Good people go through terrible things, but wise people know when and how to let it go. We all know that wisdom does not come easy, it often comes from painful experience.

Many of us are very unwise in how we handle our pain. Like an animal that struggles in a steel trap, we worsen our wounds the way we struggle, deny, and fight against what simply, is. When we refuse to learn the wisdom of acceptance, we become our own tormentors. When we refuse to let go we suffer, yet we cannot let go of something until it has taught us what we need to learn.

Letting go is a process of recognition, confrontation, acceptance, and healing. Letting go simply means not suffering any more than absolutely necessary, but just enough to expand and strengthen ourselves.

Some suffering is needed to deepen our compassion, to grow, and to learn. Letting go means you have learned enough, and now have compassion for yourself. Letting go means not touching that sore spot until it is infected, and instead letting it heal. Letting go means carrying a permanent scar, but not a permanent wound. Letting go means you may have walked through hell, but came out the other side ready to make your life a heaven. Letting go means you refuse to be a victim forever, by letting one moment define the rest of your life.

Letting go means you accept change, and you accept that your pain is not permanent. Letting go means you accept that you cannot take away the past, but you insist that the past cannot take away your future. Letting go means you are ready to move forward and live. Letting go means you are no longer afraid. It was always fear that held you prisoner; letting go means you are finally free.’

-Bryant McGill


“The essential religion is taking the whole responsibility for whatsoever you are. And immediately an insight arises: ‘If I am responsible for my suffering, then it is simple, I can drop it. It is my choice. I will not choose it any more.’ “A Sufi mystic who had always remained happy was asked…. For seventy years people had watched him, he had never been found sad. One day they asked him, ‘What is the secret of your happiness?’ He said, ‘There is no secret. Every morning when I wake up, I meditate for five minutes and I say to myself, ‘Listen, now there are two possibilities: you can be miserable, or you can be blissful. Choose.’ And I always choose to be blissful.’ “All alternatives are open. Choose to be blissful. And then there are people who can be blissful even when they are imprisoned, and there are people who remain miserable even when they are living in marble palaces. It all depends on you.”

~Osho

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‘You look in the mirror & see yourself, but really, it’s not you at all..
I mean,
There’s your eyes
& your nose
& your cute little smiles
But that’s not all there is to you..
Because you’re not seeing the amount of lives you’ve touched with your presence..
You’re not seeing all the people you made smile & laugh..
You’re not seeing how strong you are..
Infact,
All the battles you’ve overcome are completely invisible when you look in the mirror, hidden beneath your outside features..
So, my darling,
Listen to me when I say this:
You are not as simple as a reflection
* you are complex
* you are wonderful
And something brilliant that a mirror simple does not have the capability to show..
It’s only showing one tree in a forest
* one star in a galaxy
* one grain of sand at the beach
And you are so much more than that!
There are so much more to you than what meets the eye..
-PleaseBelieveThat-‘
-Unknown 

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“Nothing lasts forever, nothing stays the same, the fall is our reminder that everything must change. In life, you either learn how to adapt to change or suffer because you expect it to always be as it once was. New things are born, and old things die, either way you have to adjust to survive.”

– Sylvester McNutt III

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‘You may not believe in magic
But don’t you think it’s strange
The amount of matter in our universe
Has never slightly changed.

That all which makes your body
Was once part of something more
And every breath you ever breathe
Has seen it all before.

There are countless scores of beauty
In all the things that you despise
It could once have been a shooting star
That now makes up your thighs.

And atoms of forgotten life
Who’ve long since ceased to roam
May now have the great honour
To call your crooked smile their home.

You may not believe in magic
But I thought that you should know
The makings of your heart were born
Fourteen billion years ago.

So the next time you feel lonely
When this world makes you feel small
Just remember that it’s part of you
And you’re part of it all.’

Erin Hanson

Personal Self Love

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‘When we think of our personal self love it is important to remember that it does not have to be perfect for us to do and receive amazing things. Yes, a growing self love will brighten your life and attract wonderful experiences, but that does not mean that it is a requirement for good things to happen.

Amazing things sometimes come even in our darkest moments, and difficult moments will arise even after we have accomplished much growth and developed our peace. This is the nature of life, it is an ocean that moves between calmness and storms, the movement of the water is what nurtures our experiences that grant us wisdom.

We should not pause our lives and wait for a time when our self love will be perfect, instead we should move forward with our goal of self healing as a constant aspect of our lives. Always open to release, always learning, always keeping a part of our awareness inward so that we can observe our truth, always seeking to live harmlessly and love actively. Sending love to all beings. May we all understand that we have so much to give. May we all be open to receiving. May we all heal ourselves and the world.’

-Yung Pueblo

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